Princess Andromeda Ruleress of Star-Crossed Lovers
Princess Andromeda Ruleress of Star-Crossed Lovers Yhearts|sparklersY
Princess Andromeda

Y Princess Stuffies

Y Y [Apr 26 2001 @ 04:59pm]
Y mood | rushed

Hi everyone!

I just wanted to drop a note and say....
I am planning on dropping this, IF you choose to keep me as a friend, you must add WRONGWAYBARBIE to your friends list.

And-Richard....your emails are making me laugh because I have no idea what's going on. Are you intending on emailing me? Hehe.

Love you guys!!!

11 love letters|love me

Y Y [Apr 23 2001 @ 07:45pm]
Y mood | Grossed Out

joel1369 (7:25:23 PM): do you like to hook up-/
Blow Pop Ho (7:25:38 PM): uhmmmm
Blow Pop Ho (7:25:39 PM): not really?
joel1369 (7:25:50 PM): why not-/
Blow Pop Ho (7:25:59 PM): makes me uncomfortable.
joel1369 (7:26:09 PM): why is that-/
Blow Pop Ho (7:26:21 PM): it just does.
joel1369 (7:26:34 PM): so you never hook up-/
Blow Pop Ho (7:26:42 PM): not never, just not usually.
joel1369 (7:27:10 PM): i think we should hook-/
Blow Pop Ho (7:27:18 PM): why do you think that?
joel1369 (7:28:22 PM): it would be fun-/
Blow Pop Ho (7:29:10 PM): i dont think so..
joel1369 (7:29:16 PM): why not-/
Blow Pop Ho (7:29:16 PM): if i was a slut..then maybe.
joel1369 (7:29:29 PM): shitty-/
Blow Pop Ho (7:29:37 PM): no its not...
joel1369 (7:29:49 PM): why not then-/
Blow Pop Ho (7:30:11 PM): because, the next girl you im, will say ok! and youll forget i said no thanks.
joel1369 (7:30:26 PM): i wish she would say ok-/
joel1369 (7:30:32 PM): no one ever does-/
Blow Pop Ho (7:30:46 PM): its because, its not really...flattering.
Blow Pop Ho (7:31:10 PM): the idea of meeting you, hooking up, and leaving and coming home and not seeing you again does not make me get excited.
joel1369 (7:31:38 PM): what if i did see you again-/
Blow Pop Ho (7:32:34 PM): dont just tell me anything so ill say yes..
joel1369 (7:33:49 PM): i thought you were the blow pop ho
Blow Pop Ho (7:33:59 PM): its an inside joke...
joel1369 (7:34:09 PM): oh
Blow Pop Ho (7:34:14 PM): you should have asked that in the beginning, so you didnt have to waste your time..
joel1369 (7:34:35 PM): its not a waste-/

Is there something about me that I am unaware of?

14 love letters|love me

Y I Remember The Smell Of Your Skin.....I Remember Everything Y [Apr 22 2001 @ 10:00pm]
Y mood | Ugly

*You gave me a Valentine. It's the little things that stand the test of time. I saved the tickets from the shows that we've been too. And a thousand other memories of you.*
That is the only good part on the ENTIRE album aside from our song Matt. *sigh* ugh.
This guy told me, I looked glam, like David Bowie glam..then continued to say I was *cute, though* and wanted to be friends.
I'm feeling rather blah today folks.
I had a strange weekend-I ditched work today. They are pissed off at me as it is, they want me to take my tongue ring out. I got in a BIG TIME creative mood today-started designing and sewing and what not. I got a few things done that I am happy about. I am intending on dying my hair tonight as well. I want to go all black, but George said he would grow a mullet if I do it all black. Therefore, that is out of the, I think people only talk to me because I'm blonde, they think I'm stupid, and they think I'm a slut....and heaven forbid people stop thinking that.
OH!!! Last night, Katrina and I had this HUGE long talk, like hours..and I loved it. Towards the end of it, I found the MOST AMUSING THING EVER!
Someone is smoking around my window.
I don't work until Thursday.
Wow, I am so ugly right now it's gross.
I know someone that has a crush on me!!! How exciting is that!!!
Speaking of exciting....I got a kiss today. *beams* I had to give him some garlic bread first, but...still. LMFAO *wink*
Last night, I got a pin that says *I'm a mess* and it made me think of my Sparkling Mess Soul, and I also got a shirt that is black and in HUGE red beautiful sparkly letters it says: *I only like punk boys with tattoos.* Now, maybe my wearing a HUGE sign, lmfao, I'll get another one.
My birthday is in exactly two months. Joshiewoshieboboshie<3 turns 19 in 21 days. May 13! I think I love him. Hehe. <3
I found out the other day...that this kid I went out with in junior with me. LMFAO. He is super tall and super skinny and all...surfer now. I was like 'Wait, that's gross'
My tongue ring is now too long and I am going to get a 5/8 instead. Actually, I HAVE a 5/8 and it has a pretty pretty rhinestone on the top. *sexy sexy*
I am feeling better. <3 Thanks Josh.
WAIT!!! Like two weeks ago, I was supposed to have a chat with Chaz..what the hell happened to that?!?!
Also, the feeling you get when you put a lot of energy into someone, or something...and they just..disappoint you beyong belief-really sucks. When you just have all this faith and hope and love invested, and all these expectations..and they let you down, is like a stab in the back. It makes you not want to have faith in them ever again-but what is the use of knowing people if you don't invest. I guess she doesn't really matter to me anyway, it just bugs me.
OH! AND..Keith thinks I am stubborn and arrogant.

Quotes Of The Day:
The Cunt, Bran, and I: *You are the weakest link, goodbye!*
Melody: *You are in such deep trouble. LOL*
Somebody: *If you come to Florida this summer, don't forget your tongue ring*

10 love letters|love me

Y Falling For You Was The Easy Way Out Y [Apr 21 2001 @ 12:36am]
Y mood | Loved

Just got home...

I bought The Ataris album Matty<3 and, I'm BIG TIME dissapointed.
People's idea of originality makes me HOWL WITH LAUGHTER!
I saw a funny thing at The Whorehouse tonight...Bran, explain it.
Going to bed, up too early tomorrow...

Notes to self:
Tell George the 'thing'
Make eyebrow appointment
Make hair appointment
Call Bobby
*Thinks, thinks, thinks*
Get schedule for next week
Call on jury dutie
Talk to Linave

I love you more than Powerpuff Girl watches.

Quote of the day:
*Brandon*: It is my opinion that, some people should not own nor operate digital cameras.

5 love letters|love me

Y It's Not The Same As Touching You Y [Apr 20 2001 @ 01:08am]
Y mood | giddy


I love you completely
I guess I'm kinda mad about you
I love you, I love you I do
Love overcomes all of my senses
Lowers all of my defenses
And all of your faults vanish to a blind daze
Your bitterness erased by my sense of taste
And harsh words are deafened by love

I love you completely
I couldn't be madder about you
I love you, I love you I do
I love you completely
There's nothing I see bad about you
I love you, I love you I do

Love welcomes me to every new day
The stars are all falling down my way
And all of the planets are lined in the sky
The lights are shining down upon you and I
My world is stricken by love

Kiss me over and over forever and ever my love
Kiss me all over and over forever and ever my love
The love I have for you
Makes me blind I can't see
The love I have for you
Cuts my throat I can't speak
The love I have for you makes me numb
I can't feel
The love I have for you makes me numb
I can't feel
But boy, oh boy, oh boy
I love you

I love you, I love you - I do do do do

3 love letters|love me

Y I'm Supergirl Y [Apr 19 2001 @ 09:02pm]
I do believe, that they must make some blonde girl icon
I like the goth girl, but...I don't have dark hair...
and I think....brunette girlies should be using this.

Hmm, it shall have to do until they satisfy my desire...OOOhhh desire.
love me

Y I Know You Feel Right Through Me Y [Apr 19 2001 @ 01:57am]
Y mood | ecstatic

I hate when you're so perfect.

love me

Y I Am Falling, With No One To Catch Me Y [Apr 18 2001 @ 01:52am]
Y mood | Loved

Birthday Boy (1:48:30 AM): and he cant expect a wondeful person like yourself not to move on
Brokedown Palace (1:48:36 AM): im not wonderful.
Brokedown Palace (1:48:38 AM): but, thank you.
Birthday Boy (1:48:47 AM): you are right you are not
Birthday Boy (1:48:51 AM): you are beyond wonderful
Brokedown Palace (1:49:00 AM): this is your birthday, dont tell me that.
Birthday Boy (1:49:01 AM): they dont even have a word to desribe how simply amazing you are
Birthday Boy (1:49:04 AM): you are andromeda
Birthday Boy (1:49:17 AM): when i feel good. im gonna say i am feeling andromeda today :-D
Birthday Boy (1:49:32 AM): i wish i was feeling you...

I Love You.

8 love letters|love me

Y Should I Speak Of Love Y [Apr 18 2001 @ 01:07am]
Y mood | Missed...<3

*I know he hurt you, I see you crying...girl I can stop the rain from falling. Just let me hold you-I wanna tell you all the things you need to hear. Let me be the one you need. Everything you want I'll be. Baby, when you're lonely I'll be there to dry your tears. Baby when you're lonely don't you worry I'm right here. He always told you, he never showed you. Love is more than saying the words. Someone to talk to-someone to listen...something that I know you've been missing. Let me be the one you need. You've never had a love that's real. I will always be holding you close to my heart...we will never be apart...let me dry your tears*
Where is NOTMRGARRISON?! HA! I got it out before you posted!
I spent the better part of the day with BranieBranBran. He helped me with some gif business.
I, was initially going to make a gif file of the guys I've loved, and then..I decided to do a combo on the evolution of my love well as my OWN personal evolution. So, it goes: my first love-Freddie, my constant love-Dan, my pretend love-Craig, and..George. So, that is what that is all about. *Beams* I am so grossly proud of it.
I went to the doctor today..I'm having big time pains in my feet...and, they said they were going to give me metal bars to wear, and the first thing I thought of-was Forest Gump. However, it turns out that they will only be in my shoes, I am only half of a gump, I mean..gimp.
I fully intended to talk to Josh tonight-he waited for me, and then left before I got here. I'm partially glad though, I know he has an early class.
I came to some sort of conclusion last night, as well as today that has hopefully made things better. NATURALLY, Matty<3 does not agree with my decision..but...*leaves it at that* It's his birthday, and I am hella excited. I love him so much, and I hope he has a great day!
I don't have to work until Thursday..and and..OH FUCK I have school tomorrow. Wait, is tomorrow Wednesday?! I hope not, because I have plans to go to CHURCH tomorrow. Don't laugh because I'm not kidding.
I put Shauntee on my friends list <3
What else shall I say?
GOD, I have this ENORMOUS thing to talk about, and I can't. :X. I have a feeling that, it will leak out eventually anyway and I'll be able to discuss it, but at this point in time...:X.
I gotta get going, I have another paper to write-and I'm trying to talk to Matt..even though he is occupied with something else..SHMUCK</3 My tongue isn't sore mouth feels, it's oral sex for everyone. XoXo

9 love letters|love me

Y I Love That In One Whisper..You Tell Me Everything Y [Apr 18 2001 @ 12:49am]
Y mood | Loving

I'm glad that you're the jelly to my peanut butter.
I love you with so much of me that it's sick.
I hope you have an incredible birthday
You're the most ADORE-able person I've known
I love you.


2 love letters|love me

Y Imagine Me Touching Your Body Y [Apr 16 2001 @ 10:12pm]
Y mood | accomplished

My tongue is extremely sore, thank god I have no one substantial to give head to-or I would indeed be in a world of trouble.

4 love letters|love me

Y I've Dreamt Of You All My Life Y [Apr 15 2001 @ 11:22pm]
Y mood | loved

One of the sweetest things in the world

I love you!!!

7 love letters|love me

Y You're The Only One You've Ever TRULY Loved Y [Apr 15 2001 @ 09:37pm]
Y mood | busy

*Silky smooth, lips as sweet as candy, baby. Tight blue jeans, skin that shows in patches. Strong inside but you don't know it, good little girls they never show it. When you open up your mouth to speak, could you be a little weak. Hair that twirls on finger tips so gently, baby. Hands that rest on jutting hips repenting, hurt that's not supposed to show and tears that fall when no one knows. When you're trying hard to be your best, could you be a little less.*
*Vows to not make this a long entry*
Hi guys!!!! Happy Easter!!! I hope you got yummie things from the bunny. I have a couple of Easter baskets sitting in the living room that I haven't gotten to just yet.
For those that have been wondering WHERE THE FUCK I've been...
Katrina, Laura, Melody, Matt, Sheri, Dan, (and partially) Vanessa
I shall attempt to vaguely explain:
FIRST-I've been working very long days...very long hours..and I haven't even had the energy for being online. Isn't that sad? Then, I've also been back in school..
And, I am taking some time for myself. I always end up helping everyone and their grandmothers..which, I love, because I hate to see you guys upset..but, I have my own bullshit too, and I needed to deal with it. I'm no good for anyone if I'm no good for myself. So, I've been doing a lot of analyzing, and thinking and deciding..and well...planning. This has been a really really really great week and I am truly happy about most things right now.
I got some modeling thing...for this art workshop. Photography, and portraits...all kinds of things. There are three of us, and it's been cool thus far.
I hope Katrina and Seanie are doing better-since I haven't been able to catch up with her..well, in a week.
Melody is sick, so I wish her to get better.
Matt, George, Shauntee and I were planning to go to Warped Tour in San Diego in June..BUT, since I am no know..I think it would be very uncomfortable to be with Matt and HIS he and I are going to the show in Irvine on the 28th. *sigh*
I will show you guys my tongue in a second, because it is now..pierced. I hope the picture isn't all annoying and fuzzy.
I tried to catch up on a weeks worth of journals...but, it was...;like painful to get through them, I skimmed all of them for the most part..for now.
I am off to write a HUGE paper due tomorrow. *sigh*
How Do I Love Phil Collins...Let Me Count The Ways!!!

*Quote of the Day*
Katrina's Journal: i *really* hate it when i set up high expectations for people and they inevitably don't live up to them ... it's my own fault. i love too many people that don't love me. i don't know why.

My boyfriend err..ex-boyfriend, used to always say *Baby, don't go to the tanning salon more than once a'll cook yourself from the inside out* LMFAO. Young love.

Me, my tongue, and Branie

19 love letters|love me

Y I Know That He Loves Me, Loves Me, Loves Me.... Y [Apr 07 2001 @ 12:10am]
Y mood | embarrassed

I needed to get out of the house, so we went to Huntington Beach to talk and then rented Drop Dead Fred early..which turned into an ORDEAL..
But, I now have my most embarrassing moment:

We walk into Los Alamitos Blockbuster...and I turned around to answer something that he asked me..and as I'm walking the former comedy section-I SEE MY FRESHMAN BOYFRIEND. LMFAO. (Maybe eighth grade) anyway, I for some reason lost ALL my thoughts, and brains, and uhm...everything and literally RAN and hid behind the movie counterholdershelfthing. LMFAO, I HAVE NO IDEA WHY!!! I think it was because I had no make up on, and no bra on and just like, a sweater and black pants. UHM, yeah, and he saw me. He looked like shit so I have no idea why I cared..LMFAO, god that was so funny. So, I'm standing behind these forementioned things...LAUGHING as quietly as I can. Brandon was like talking loudly and I'm like *SHHHHHHHH* and I was just like, stretching trying to figure out what was going on. I'm short enough, so I could just duck behind the doohickeys. I was like SO completely and utterly embarrassed..and then he left. I was standing there-afterwards thinking that me being such a faggot was even more embarrassing. He saw me WALK in, he saw me SEE him..he saw me RUN, he saw me HIDING, and he saw me PEEKING... I NEVER act like that-and I don't know what the hell happened.
How embarrassing!!
I hope someone understands that this was funny and that I am not always a total loser.

21 love letters|love me

Y Lay A Whisper On My Pillow Y [Apr 06 2001 @ 12:06am]
Y mood | groggy

Hello, hello. *Wipes eyes*
I got up at, well, right above the buttcrack of dawn-got ready for work, got TO work..started my shift. Michelle came in *She wants to take me drinking..* LMFAO. Anyway..she came in and I was happy. I made almost 80 dollars in tips...*woot* and, I now hate this girl I work with. She thinks she is a model, and if I fucking see her hip bones again I am going to stab them. UGH. Uhm..we got a big time breakfast rush-and I was carrying I think 12 plates and SYRUP SPLIT IN MY APRON!! It got on my pager, my cellphone, my pens, my CARCLICKERALARMTHINGIE, my MONEY, my wallet, my chapstick, my lipstick, my bobby pins and WHATEVER else was in there. Mind you-this is an hour into my shift. I made nice with my new busyboy<3. Uhm....I broke a plate-because someone didn't say *Behind You* when they were..BEHIND ME.
I had 4 random comments today...:
*You're the best waitress I've had in 45 years.*
*You're the sweetest thing I've ever seen*
*You look like a little girl, you're just so cute*....
*I just want to take you out and drink and have a total blast!!!! We would have such a good time!!!*
The lady who told me I was the best waitress..hugged me and kissed my cheek, and her friend, pinched my cheek...she was like 157 years old. Yes, 157. She was with this huge group of 157 year old women..they said they would ask for me next time, and left me a $20 dollar tip.
I spent TWO AND A HALF FUCKING HOURS AT WASHINGTON MUTUAL BANK...and ended up owing $45.00. I've yet to understand HOW I spent all that time there, and how I encured that debt. Whatever, I was just glad to get out of the damn bank. *sigh* THEN, lmfao, as I'm sitting there for 394875 hours..I look to the door and MY DAD walked in!! We have two different banks, and I like yelled three times and he just looked around and I was like *You are such a retard* and we talked for like 20 minutes. Like we don't see each other everyday?! LMFAO, YAY Didi!
Brandon and I went out to dinner-and I pissed off the lady there. They had a *reserved* thing on the table..and there was nowhere to sit, and we hadn't eaten all, uhm, I just moved it. ROFL, she was like talking shit about it to everyone that would listen and I just kept hoping that she would come over and say something. I was funked up and hungry.
Then..we went to the gym, and I saw some more of my high school alumni. *sigh* I wanted to go down to Huntington Beach because, I saw something tonight that bothered me and I just needed some time. So, Brandon gave me some advice-which actually, I really appreciated. He then proceeded to say the sweetest thing:
*I don't think....that...I could even live without you*
This coming from a guy who is not about emotions. I was like *awww BranieBran!*
I have a 'date' on Saturday with Bran to watch some Drop Dead Fred and some's sleepie time clothes and TONS of low fat chocolate pudding. Hehe.
Something inside of me, is keeping me lit up. I feel so relieved, and so happy...even though-nothing great is going on.
I think, I just honestly love my job, and I love my friends, I'm happy that Mel and I are talking..I'm happy Branie is happy...I'm happy Matty and Shauntee are happy...I'm happy that things are going well.
My only sadness is this thing with George. I don't even know what to say about it right now. It feels sort of like...nevermind. It doesn't matter what I feel.
I'm hella tired...
My feet hurt..
I am going to make a list of the things I want to accomplish by birthday, and then a list of things I want to have accomplished by 2002. Wait, is this 2002? No, so yeah...2002. Not resolutions..just things I want to have under my belt, and under control, and in my grasp. I need to make some life changes, and I think it's good to get a start on them before they start effecting your life TOO much. *SNEEZE* Bless me, thank you.
Must get sleep, must get...sleep.
Get's excited for school this Monday
I'm worried about Chas. He has been posting extremely strange things. I didn't want to post comments because I don't know what's going on. But. if you are in fact reading this love, I hope things are ok? I'm here if you need me...
I'm looking for an idea for a new song for my pager..the only one that I shall ask is Matty because he is the only one I know with any decent taste in music. Except for: ALK3 and JEW! EWWW!
Goodnight lovies

To those people reading this.....
I do mean all of you...
What's your biggest regret?

34 love letters|love me

Y I Didn't Mean To Fall In Love With You Y [Apr 04 2001 @ 11:55pm]
Y mood | shitty

SHMUCKARELLI [11:41 PM]: It just seems vindictive

love me

Y When My Heart Stops Breaking And Tears Stop Falling, When Forever Is Through..I'll Be Over You Y [Apr 04 2001 @ 10:51pm]
Y mood | happy

*I'll take everything as it comes my way. Pushing your pain around my door...and I'll cry for you, yes I'll die for you-yes this blood on my hands is for you...*
I went on a date tonight! The guy that does the computer stuff for us, wanted to take me out to dinner..and I said ok. SO-he took me to Huntington Beach, and we had dinner and walked on the pier. It was nice...he was sweet. He's blonde-unfortunately. But, we aren't talking marriage so it doesn't matter too much.
I wore...:
Black hip huggers with a leather ribbon around the waist
Electric blue tank top that shows my tummy
Black button up shirt, left open
Blue ribbons tied around my wrists
Spiked bracelets
Black platforms with the star cut out in the sole
Regular make up
Hair down..and straight
I took my taxes in today. *SIGH* I HATE TAXES!! I hate Dubya!!
I decided that next weekend, I will go get a new Kate Spade purse.
The order on my truck got cancelled because-I was scared that I would like the 2002 F-series more. I am going to bounce around and look for pictures of the 2002 and if it's just alright, I'll put my order in for my truck again...unless I go pounding the fucking pavement looking for one I like. I'll get it faster, that's for damn sure.
I had thee strangest dream last night, or this afternoon, or something.
I was talking with this guy from my job *He looks like the hot guy from the shoe store..from a month ago * and this lady came in to tell me her muffins were burnt? So, I told her I would bake her some..and I made her bud brownies? Then, I took her to the art museum in Santa Monica just to get an Iced Mocha-then I was having like animal sex with Dennis Rodman in the old ladies motor home? Then I woke up fully grossed out.
I don't think I'll ever have sex with anyone. I don't think anyone is worth it I guess. Or maybe that is why my relationships all end, I don't want to have sex and they don't think I'm worth the time if they aren't getting any. My next relationship will be different-I'll be worth it, and hopefully, he will be too.
Alissa and Aurora are coming to California this month sometime, but that is tentative thus far. It should be interesting. I have a feeling I am going to end up beating the shit out of Alissa upon contact. I'm trying to talk Jake into coming with them so he can do my tattoo...but, he doesn't want to be anywhere near Alissa right now. So, he is glad for the break. *sigh* I suppose that I shall wait.
What else was I going to say....I can't find any cute black pants. It's getting on my nerves..I tried those black ones at Target Mel..LMFAO-they were SO uncomfortable. I usually only buy work out pants there, no wonder.
I bought a new halter's like dark blue denim..
I need summer clothes-because I am not busting around in a sweater all summer like I did last year.
I am officially in love with Incubus. I realize it's been a crush for awhile-but now it is full blown and I'm ready to give up Marilyn Get Up Cure..NO WAY..NO DOUBT..I'll give up No Doubt for Incubus.
Where is Matt?!?!? He gets his new apartment very soon and his 23rd birthday is coming up!!!!!!<3<3<3<3
If someone is bald..on their drivers liscense, does it say *none* or *nude* when asking hair color? If you are bald, and reading this...let me know please.
I have to be up at I'm outtie. I just came on to talk to Mel, and Matt, and TRY to catch up with Josh.
JOSH-I got your message<3

*Quote Of The Day*
Blake-*Ok, so I'm just out of touch*
Melody-*There's another song I want, but you wouldn't know it, it's alternative*

17 love letters|love me

Y Hold Me Naked Under The Falling Rain Y [Apr 04 2001 @ 12:11am]
Y mood | accomplished

*Don't worry I'll catch you. Don't ever worry-no need for reminding. You're still all that matters to me.*
Just got home!!!! I made mad cash in tips today!! There was this table of four people who were SO EFFIN rude and barely spoke english, but obviously lived in the United States..actually-obviously lived around the restaurant-and I WAS SO OFFENDED!! WHY DO PEOPLE not SPEAK ENGLISH?!?! How come everytime I walk out of my house, I am one of the only people speaking IN ENGLISH?!?!?! *UGH* Yes, tell me I'm a racist bitch..go on.
Some dork boys came in at the end of my shift and proceeded to tell me they knew me? I was like great? Then, they decided that they did not know me...that I just looked like Barbie? *sigh* Queers. Guys say the dumbest shit sometimes.
I went bikini shopping today--I'm looking for something not red and not black..considering that's what I normally get?! Something like Turquoise or gold or purple. Something funky<3
I'm on Spring Break and I didn't know it until a couple of days ago. I intend on sleeping-working out-working-shopping-tanning.
Jaysen slept here last night. It was nice. We had a sleepover party. I dyed his hair black..and he looks INCREDIBLE. He went with me to my rehearsal for this film. I just sang, and sang and sang and sang and sang and left. The cool part is that I don't have to be at every rehearsal, he thinks that they can edit my part in? *sigh* It was nice to be spending time with him. We called Jake and Alissa and Rora for a little while-things are falling apart. But, as usual, no one ever listens to me.
I've gotten really close to Matt over the last couple of weeks *as I keep saying..'SOMEONE HAS A CRUSH' hehe, just kidding* and his girlfriend read my journal last night..and saw the part about him wishing he was single, and she got upset. I FELT SO BAD-even though it wasn't my fault. I don't know what he said-but, I know how he tries to get out of everything, so things are fine. But, I did feel bad. I don't think I should say anything else like that?? I don't want her to be upset :(. I've been a girlfriend and when it feels like girls are stepping's just infuriating. Shauntee, I'm sorry...but, if it helps at all: You honestly have nothing to worry about.
Dan..and I are talking a smidgent now. Things are never going to be normal for us-but I have finally realized that OUR normal is not like NORMAL for anyone else's standards.
I've also been talking with Mel. She has been completely great. I appreciate her a lot. She's got me on the hunt for a purse *Which I wrote all the specs down for*
YAY guys this was a dope day!
I got lots of fun stuff today..:
Shaving Gel
Face Soap
Face Exfoliator
Body Warsh
New Loofa
Hair spray
Face Moisterizer
Took a nice long bath-felt really truly nice.
I also went tanning-and I put one of those little heart stickers (so you can see like a tan line if you're naked) and it looked SO cute!!<3 *Aww, it's the little things*
KellyKelly got a journal!!!!!! Hi Kelly!!
I still haven't talked to Josh-we are too busy. *sigh* Hi hunnie, I hope you're ok!! I'll come looking for you later on this week<3<3<3
I'm thinking of changing my icon-I just need to think of what to stick there. I'm surprised this one is well liked. It's so ugly and dorky. Roffel.
Dru love, don't let this depress you-especially if you HAVEN'T talked to him. You know? I think you're just over thinking it and letting it get to you too much. Make something happen and then over analyze least then you'll definitely have something to think about. Don't make yourself *What If* it's the worst.

15 love letters|love me

Y Y [Apr 02 2001 @ 12:29am]
Y mood | Secretive

I thought of another name I liked for my daughter.

It's probably one of my favorites so far.

22 love letters|love me

Y Miles Away I Can't Believe How Lost I Still Feel Without You Y [Mar 31 2001 @ 11:23pm]
Y mood | Distant

*You have no right to ask me how I feel, You have no right to speak to me so kind. Someday I might find myself looking in your eyes but for now-we will go on living separate lives. I held on to let you go and if you lost your love for never let it show. There was no way to compromise so now we are living separate lives*
I knew I should have said *Rabbit Rabbit* on the first day of March.
Well, I got a nice typical Dan email this morning. He wanted to *comfort* me about the *break up.* I think his idea of comfort and mine differ completely. I wont go into detail on exactly WHAT started it. Let's just say, Dan who doesn't know the real meaning of love was telling me how to lead my love life. Which lead to a REALLY nice fight over how he had no idea what he was talking about, and when he finally got some idea, to come talk to me. Which then proceeded to flow into me wishing him heartbreak so he could finally have some idea of what he was preaching about...which lead to him sort of bitching at me....Then I left. I just got home about 15 minutes ago-and got this in my mailbox:

*melts* So now I'm supposed to forgive him. How the hell do I go about IGNORING that?
Thanks to....
for being so wonderful. I appreciate that you all care, and your emails and IM's and what not...were in fact appreciated. So, thank you.
I got home a little while ago...
I had a nice day. Considering.
Tani woke me up this morning talking about uhm, I think football, Cerritos, sunglasses, and weeks? She wanted to make plans-but I know she is regularly 19 hours late, so I told her I would call her, which I didn't. I can't be peppy enough for her right now-so it's best I wait to see her.
Kimberly's birthday was today and she was having a party tonight, some big drinking fest. I also forgot about that until around 930pm. Instead, I got dressed, went out looking at trucks, and thinking. I went for a small drive, and then Diane and Meghan came over.
I left to go get Brandon. We went to eat and I actually ate fast food (RUBIO'S). I figure, that I just got dumped and that the rules are cancelled. But, now I'm back on my *No fast food* bullshit. We went Staples and then back to my house, I exchanged a lipstick....then we drove to Santa Ana for some Jazz show. It was alright. Better than I expected but still..Jazz music. *Vomits*
I saw Candice tonight. That was interesting. It was nice to see her I suppose...
Then, we went to the gym and I kicked my ass.
I talked to the guy from the gym again. LMFAO-not for very long..but too long anyway? He was saying things that I am not ready to hear from anyone else yet.
I also, spoke to Ibrahim which was good. He thinks we are soulmates.
Matt and I are talking about my quickly approaching birthday. I had really beautiful plans for it...but, now I have to start all over again. *sigh*
I heard a funny thing last night:
Tired of getting dumped
Let's get really pumped
Thought I'd look like Henry Rollins
But I still look like Phil Collins

I had a horrible nightmare last night-I killed one of George's friends-and he was all bloody and I was trying to hide him..? It was awful.
Matt just said THEE sweetest thing.
Ma TtTtT 1 2 3 (11:40:53 PM): can i tell you something
Ma TtTtT 1 2 3 (11:41:00 PM): i dont know how this may sound
Blow Pop Ho (11:41:02 PM): yes love, anything.
Ma TtTtT 1 2 3 (11:41:03 PM): i dont think its bad
Ma TtTtT 1 2 3 (11:41:08 PM): but last night
Ma TtTtT 1 2 3 (11:41:11 PM): after everything
Ma TtTtT 1 2 3 (11:41:18 PM): i was like hmm, only if i was single

I am trying to--be a good girlfriend without being a girlfriend? I don't want to date anyone *OH MATT, this has nothing to do with you hun* and I don't even want to talk to anyone new. I haven't given up on my relationship, and I haven't given up on George. I told him I would be here for him during and after-and I will. I want to go on and on and on about this exact subject-but, I am scared that he will read it and think I'm stupid. I don't want him to think I'm trying to find someone new...because-he is the only one I want. *sigh*
Mike just shook his fist at me for not being happy!!! LMFAO!!!
I just got an email from Melody. It was for some reason, the second best thing that could have happened? I don't know. I thought it was a nice gesture. She apologized for George and I, and said she was here for me if I needed to talk. I thought that was very beautiful of her. So, if you're reading this Melody-I'll respond to the letter-and thank you ahead of time.

I hope you had a good day...that that you're doing alright. I hope you're doing better than I am. I keep hoping that you're going to say *April Fool's* about all of this...but, I know you wont.

4 love letters|love me

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